Final Report

In regards to the five portfolio subjects, my personal learning process has generally been exploratory. I was urged to delve into the Dutch culture from various angles, each represented in one of the portfolio subjects. For the most part, I felt both obligated and inspired to get my hands dirty and force myself to interact one-on-one with the Dutch. I was not always successful, but effort is worth an honorable-mention.
The first couple of months in the Netherlands were not easy for me. I was afraid of my own shadow. I was afraid to be myself because I did not want to appear offensive, (as an American with different cultural norms, habits, and convictions). For the first time in my life, I was the minority; consequently, it was my turn to develop myself personally and educationally in this new and unusual environment. Generally, my initial responses were somewhat bigoted. I felt responsible for defending myself, rather than expressing myself. It was like a war field, I against the Netherlands, who will win? Of course, I would like to have come out strong, but as the minority, I ended up surrendering to the will of my educational experience. Commonly, my initial reactions were some form of jealousy, carelessness, or frustration. The preparatory aspect of high school practical education in the Netherlands made me fairly jealous, I was less than enthused in subjects relating to political movements and new events, and when asked whether or not the Netherlands was a Christian society I was rather perturbed. I found the most frustrating aspect of my educational experience abroad to be defining myself, the timeless interrogative sentence: who am I?
Always having to be politically correct had proven itself impractical over the last four months. It was most difficult for me to form personal opinions because I did not want to accuse the Dutch for being "wrong". I’ve learned that it is not always easy to fully respect the cultural differences of a foreign country. I’ve concluded; however, that in culture, there is no "right" or "wrong", there is only different, and sometimes different can be agitating as it forces us to challenge, and in some cases defend, our innate "standard" world view. Overall, I underwent a lot of character development, which often resulted in an emotional state of discomposure. My attitude, thus, was not always a pretty one.
In evaluating the five portfolio subjects, I must say, at first I was very bitter towards them and was not at all motivated; however, now that I have completed the requirements and am able to view them from an accomplished point-of-view, I feel that they’ve served well in my personal learning experience. Each subject, not only urged me to develop my understanding of the Dutch culture, but also encouraged me to reflect on my own culture and my own personal convictions. All in all, I feel that these subjects have been successful in obtaining me an insight over the Dutch identity and world view, as well as assisting me in defining "who I am" in regards to America and to the Netherlands.
"Good practice" means taking risks. If I knew how to say it in Dutch, I said it in Dutch! I took the liberty to contact the buddies of the N-SPICE program in order to practice my Dutch conversational skills. I found this to be most rewarding. Not only was I able to practice my Dutch, but I was also able to interact and make friends with students of the Dutch European culture. As the minority, it was not always fun playing "follow the leader"; however, trial-and-error usually does not go hand-in-hand with the terms fun and exciting! Though, it is quite amusing for them, as it is for me, to hear people make foolish mistakes in their grammar or word pronunciation. Getting involved with Dutch students has probably been the most rewarding of my experiences because they are of my generation. We have that in common and, as I see it, such denominators are essential to forming relationships.
This experience was more than a trip across an ocean, it was a novel revision! I did not expect to have been plunged into this culture as I had been through portfolio. Each subject wrought educational development and personal development. I was able to form, through these subjects, perspectives over Dutch, American, and personal identity. By far the most recognizable accomplishment of mine is self-discovery. Metaphorically speaking, I am a text, taken out of context, which is (usually) a pretext for trouble. I left "my place" and shoved myself into a new environment that was not at all like "my place". It forced me to realize things about me that I had previously neglected or ignored. I learned a great deal of "who I am" and where I plan to go. All of these things, combined, are what consummate my identity. Conclusively, my attitude of indifference, my often negligent communication style, my unaltered convictions, my go-getter drive, and my faith in God all continue to be a part of me. Some of these basic aspects of my identity have undergone minor changes, for a 180 degree turn around is not very logical in a span of four months. The changes that I have undergone, I know, have made me stronger and, perhaps, wiser than before I had come on this program. However, I will not know precisely how developed I have become until I return to my home. After four months of living in a Dutch lifestyle, integrating with the Dutch people, and experiencing the Dutch culture, I find if difficult to see myself back in America, or to even begin to imagine how different I will be when I am again exposed to my home situation. I am excited to share my learning experiences with my family. I only hope that they too, can notice a significant change in my attitude and intellect. Time will tell.